Feeling challenged or unfulfilled? If you’re not completely satisfied with the way things are and want to feel better about yourself and your life counselling can help.
Do any of these sound like you?
- I feel I’ve hit a crisis point. I can’t deal with anxiety and stress alone anymore. My life feels overwhelming and unbalanced
- I seem to fall into the same pitfalls. I have unhealthy patterns that negatively impact my relationships
- I have a terrible relationship with myself. My outlook on life is negative and often feels hopeless
- I’m at a crossroads and feel stuck. I’m having a hard time figuring things out on my own. I feel like my problems are trivial
- I have a hard time knowing what I want or who I am. I’d like to find myself and live more meaningfully
Individual Counseling is for you, if you want to:
Get tools to use when anxiety or an emotional version of yourself that isn’t ideal takes hold
Turn around any thoughts, feelings, or behaviours that are holding you back
Have more confidence in yourself and your choices
Have a more satisfying and meaningful life
Let go of past hurts or issues that are negatively affecting your relationships
Have healthy and fulfilling relationships
Get the motivation and clarity to pursue your goals
If your interactions are turning unhealthy or have been for a long time couples counselling can help. Whether you’re in the midst of a marital crisis or simply want to enhance your relationship, couples counselling can strengthen your relationship for years to come.
Do any of these sound like you?
- My partner and I are stuck in a negative loop. Our arguments seem to be getting more frequent and our communication is poor. We often engage in the same negative patterns when fighting
- Lately it feels like we’re leading separate lives. The lack of intimacy is emotionally and physically distancing
- My partner betrayed me. I feel hurt and let down. I want to be able to trust again but question whether I can
- My partner and I are at the early stages of our relationship. We’d like to address our differences before getting married
- My partner and I are contemplating separation. We’ve been unhappy for a long time. We need help figuring out how to move forward
Couples Counseling is for you, if you want to:
Clarify your individual needs, expectations, fears and hopes for marriage
Communicate and manage conflict more effectively
Rebuild trust after a betrayal or affair
Deepen your connection with your partner
Discover ways to make your relationship a priority
Increase intimacy and have a healthy sex life
Create an open and conscious relationship
Couples counselling can help identify and resolve problems, improve communication, and increase intimacy and connection. Through couples counselling, you and your partner will discover how to meet each other’s desires and wants so you can have a more satisfying relationship.
Katie: A female in her mid 20’s seeks therapy because of stress and feeling overwhelmed
Katie, a well-functioning female in her mid 20’s, sought therapy to feel more confident and emotionally stable. She had a rewarding full-time job, a loving marriage, close friends and family who she felt supported by. Despite the many positives in her life she felt continually stressed and overwhelmed.
Every so often a minor annoyance would cause Katie to burst into tears and leave a place or situation feeling embarrassed. She couldn’t understand why she often felt anxious. She’d get stressed when people asked her to do things and when things didn’t
It was the little things that threw her into a negative spiral and caused her to overthink.
Katie constantly compared herself to others. She believed everyone else had things figured out and were better off than she. She felt inferior, and as a result, felt depressed and worthless.
In order to avoid wanting to beat herself down, she’d put on a mask around others to get them to like and approve of her. For example, she’d seem eager to take on more work whenever her boss presented her with a new
Over the course of therapy, Katie realized that her constant drive to be perfect was an impossible task that left her drained and irritable. We also determined that boundaries were an issue. While putting on a mask had become automatic, Katie knew it was no longer serving her.
Overtime, Katie was able to drop the mask she would hide behind and get in touch with her authentic self. She started showing up more authentically to close friends and family, and found that it drew them closer. Not only did her friends and family still approve of her, they seemed to like her more. These experiences provided the validation she needed to enable her to be her authentic self.
In the same way, Katie started saying no to things she didn’t want to do. She realized that saying no felt good and was something she shouldn’t feel guilty for. A pay-off of taking on less was that her stress significantly went down.
Additionally, Katie came to understand that a lot of her issues stemmed from the unrealistic expectations she put on herself and others. She realized that she’d come to internalize negative beliefs about herself from early childhood experiences, including being criticized by her parents and bullied in school. In therapy she came to understand these experiences as trauma. This allowed her to have more self-compassion towards her feelings and reactions.
Using EMDR (link to EMDR blog post) to heal her childhood wounds, Katie was able to change her negative beliefs and behaviours. She reported having less intense feelings of shame and
After months of implementing these changes Katie felt more emotionally stable and self-confident. She was able to be more authentic and to maintain healthy boundaries.
As a result, Katie came to feel good about herself and her ability to cope with everyday stress.
Jack and Jill: A couple in their early 30’s seek couples counselling to improve intimacy
Jack and Jill met in university and were sweethearts ever since. Having been together 6 years the two had been contemplating marriage until they hit a crisis point.
They sought counselling to get help moving forward. Despite their love for one another, the couple had reached an impasse and needed guidance in order to get clarity on their future together.
They both knew they loved each other. However, Jill didn’t know if she was in love with Jack anymore. As of late she’d found herself noticing other men more and more, and worried about what this meant. Her feelings were not as strong as they used to despite her commitment to Jack.
While this was difficult for Jack to take in, he was open to exploring Jill’s fleeting feelings in therapy to see if they could change. During my time with Jack & Jill, I quickly learnt that Jack came from a conservative background. He was shy and had a hard time sharing his feelings and views with Jill for fear of upsetting her. Given his upbringing, he struggled with intimacy and communicating his feelings for Jill. Additionally, he worked long hours to be able to provide for a family in the near future. As a result, he often came home tired from work and would fall asleep as soon as he hit the couch.
This made Jill feel alone and unwanted.
She longed for some romance and quality time with Jack but felt like she got a roommate instead. She worried the two had become complacent and wondered if Jack still found her attractive. She often questioned why he was with her. And even though she had always thought of herself as monogamous, as of late she couldn’t help but think about being with other men.
Despite their great friendship together, the two were rarely intimate. Given these things were hardly talked about prior to counselling, our time together focused on breeching topics that used to be avoided.
Over a number of sessions, Jack and Jill explored their position on a handful of issues and got to deepen their understanding of one another. They learnt to listen non-defensively and ask profound questions. As a result, they were able to move out of gridlock and come to some mutual decisions.
They also came up with rituals to better connect with one another and set up regular quality time. They tried new things in the bedroom and founds ways to integrate these into their repertoire to have a more fulfilling sex life.
Through counselling, the couple was able to talk honestly about their feelings and beliefs on different issues including intimacy, finances, and parenting. Jack learnt that he could express himself without things turning into an argument. He got better at tolerating tension, and made more of an effort to verbalize his love and desire for Jill.
As a result, Jill’s feelings strengthened. She felt loved and appreciated, and stopped questioning Jack’s feelings for her. She came to feel satisfied with their sex life and realized she no longer focused on other men.
By the end of our time together, the two felt confident in their ability to take on new challenges including parenthood. They now knew that they could communicate effectively to come up with agreements despite their differences.