Alexa Gelles

Relationship Counselling

Help! My Partner Resists Getting Relationship Support

June 7, 2023

The Counsellor Behind The Blog
Hey, I’m Alexa! I’m a Registered Clinical Counsellor based in Vancouver, B.C. I’ve curated this blog specifically for you to answer your most pressing questions about counselling and building healthy relationships.

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Navigating relationship challenges can be daunting, especially when your partner isn’t open to seeking support. It’s natural to feel frustrated and isolated in such situations. However, it’s important to approach this matter with empathy and understanding to increase the chances of getting them on board.

Reasons Your Partner Might Be Resistant:

1. Past Negative Experiences:

Your partner may have had negative experiences with counselling or support services in the past. These experiences may have left them skeptical about the effectiveness of seeking help or worried about being judged or blamed.

2. Fear of Blame:

Some partners may be hesitant to seek support because they fear being solely blamed for the problems in the relationship. They may be concerned that therapy sessions will turn into a blame game rather than a collaborative and helpful process.

3. Lack of Self-Awareness:

It’s not uncommon for individuals to struggle with recognizing their own contributions to relationship issues. Your partner may genuinely believe they are not at fault, which can make them resistant to seeking help.

4. Downplaying Problems:

Your partner may underestimate the significance of the issues in the relationship. They might believe that the problems are not serious enough to benefit from professional help and that they will resolve themselves over time.

5. Discomfort with Emotional Conversations:

Your partner may feel uneasy discussing their emotions or engaging in deep, vulnerable conversations. This discomfort can make them resistant to seeking help that involves opening up and addressing emotional issues.

How to Get Your Partner to Couples Counselling

1. Communicate the Importance:

Clearly express to your partner why seeking help for the relationship is important to you, regardless of their perception of the problems. Help them understand that your intention is to strengthen the relationship and promote mutual well-being.

2. Highlight the Benefits:

Emphasize the positive impact that seeking support can have on the relationship as a whole. Explain that it’s not about assigning blame, but rather about fostering healthier communication, understanding, and overall relationship satisfaction.

3. Address Concerns:

Address your partner’s concerns about seeking help by assuring them that counselling or therapy provides a safe space for both individuals to express themselves without judgment. Explain how a neutral third party can facilitate productive conversations and help navigate challenges more effectively.

4. Suggest a Trial Run:

Propose the idea of giving counseling a trial run. Assure your partner that it may take more than one session or therapist to find the right fit. Reiterate that exploring professional help doesn’t commit either of you to a long-term commitment from the outset.

5. Explore Alternatives:

If your partner remains resistant to traditional couples counselling, suggest alternative options such as relationship coaching programs. These programs offer a more tailored and flexible approach that may resonate better with your partner’s preferences and comfort level.

Dealing with a partner who is resistant to seeking help for the relationship can be challenging, but it’s essential to approach the situation with empathy and patience. By effectively communicating the importance, highlighting the benefits, addressing concerns, and exploring alternative options, you can increase the likelihood of your partner reconsidering and being open to seeking the support your relationship needs.

Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a proactive step towards building a stronger and more fulfilling partnership.

Interested in alternative options to couples counselling?

Our coaching services provide a supportive and personalized approach to address relationship challenges. Click here to learn more about our Fight Fair program and how they can benefit your relationship.

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