Alexa Gelles

Relationship Anxiety and Building Trust

Relationship Guidance to Build a Strong and Lasting Connection

June 24, 2024

The Counsellor Behind The Blog
Hey, I’m Alexa! I’m a Registered Clinical Counsellor based in Vancouver, B.C. I’ve curated this blog specifically for you to answer your most pressing questions about counselling and building healthy relationships.

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In the whirlwind of life, building a strong and lasting relationship can be the anchor that keeps us steady through the ups and downs. But let’s face it—relationships can be hard work. Often, we don’t have the skills or tools to navigate the challenges that arise, and that’s when things start to feel tricky. But don’t worry—this blog is here to guide you through the key steps to build a solid, lasting relationship that stands the test of time.

In this post, we’ll cover communication, trust-building strategies, and emotional intimacy. And we’ll share some practical tips you can start using today to keep your connection strong.

1. Effective Communication

At the heart of any healthy relationship is good communication. But we all know that communication can be tricky, especially when we’re feeling triggered by our partner. Here’s how to improve your communication skills and create a stronger connection:

  • Active Listening: Make sure you’re really listening to your partner, especially when you’re upset. This means putting down your phone, looking at them, and focusing on what they’re saying without planning your response in the meantime. If you’re getting defensive, take a pause to calm down and come back to the conversation with a clear mind.
  • Express Your Feelings: Using “I” statements instead of “You” statements can help reduce blame and foster understanding. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try, “I feel unheard when you don’t make eye contact while I’m speaking.” This way, you take ownership of your feelings without pointing fingers.
  • Resolving Conflicts: Conflict is inevitable, but it’s how you handle it that matters. Keep things calm and respectful, and focus on finding solutions together rather than winning the argument. Practice constructive ways to resolve issues that leave both partners feeling heard and valued.

Practical Tip: Set aside time for regular “relationship check-ins” where you and your partner discuss any issues in a calm, non-accusatory way. You can even add a weekly date night to keep the connection alive and make room for these conversations.

2. Building Trust

Trust is the foundation of any successful relationship. Without it, even the strongest bond can start to crumble. Building and maintaining trust requires time and effort, but it’s absolutely worth it.

  • Honesty and Transparency: Don’t hide things from your partner, even small things. Being open and honest helps build a sense of emotional safety and ensures that you’re on the same page.
  • Consistency and Reliability: Show up for your partner consistently—whether it’s keeping promises, supporting their goals, or just being there when they need you. Trust grows when your partner can rely on you.
  • Respecting Boundaries: Boundaries are essential for a healthy relationship. Understand your partner’s boundaries and communicate your own. It’s about creating a safe space for both of you to be yourselves.

Practical Tip: Sit down together and talk about what boundaries are important to each of you. Whether it’s about personal space, time alone, or how you deal with conflict, understanding each other’s needs creates a sense of security.

3. Nurturing Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is the glue that holds relationships together. It’s about feeling safe, understood, and valued by your partner. Here are ways to nurture that deep connection:

  • Create Rituals of Connection: Find ways to connect that are just for the two of you. It could be something as simple as a weekly date night, cooking dinner together, or even a 10-minute morning check-in. These rituals strengthen your bond and keep you emotionally close.
  • Understand Each Other’s Love Languages: Everyone gives and receives love differently. By learning each other’s love languages, you can show love in a way that speaks to your partner’s heart. Whether it’s physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, or gifts, knowing this will help you connect on a deeper level.
  • Appreciate and Show Affection: Small gestures of appreciation—whether it’s a compliment, a hug, or a thoughtful note—go a long way in keeping emotional intimacy strong.

Practical Tip: Take time each week to express gratitude for each other, even for the little things. You could even keep a gratitude jar where you both add notes about what you appreciate about each other.

4. Practical Steps for a Lasting Connection

Building a lasting and fulfilling relationship doesn’t happen overnight, but there are simple steps you can take every day to make it happen. Start by working on communication, trust, and emotional intimacy—these are the building blocks of any strong relationship.

Don’t wait for cracks to appear in your relationship before seeking help. Whether you’re in the early stages or have been together for years, relationship coaching or counselling can offer valuable insights and tools. Even happy couples benefit from having a neutral third party to help them navigate challenges and improve communication.

5. Why You Might Want to Work With a Coach or Counsellor

A couples coach or counsellor can be incredibly helpful, even if you’re not facing any major issues. They provide a safe, neutral space where you can strengthen your communication, address underlying concerns, and enhance your connection.

In fact, bringing in a coach or counsellor is a proactive way to build a strong and lasting relationship, even if things feel stable. This support helps couples stay ahead of potential challenges and avoid the buildup of small issues that might lead to conflict down the road.

Curious about how coaching and counselling differ and which is right for your relationship? Read more here.

Ready to Build a Strong and Lasting Relationship?

Whether you’re in the early stages of building a life together or working to overcome challenges in a long-term relationship, personalized support can make all the difference. Premarital coaching helps couples create a solid foundation for a lasting partnership, while couples counselling offers tools to reconnect and grow together when faced with difficulties.

Take the next step toward a thriving relationship by learning more about premarital coaching and couples counselling.

Q's to Map Out Your

💛 Clarify your ideal vision for your relationship to make it a reality.
💛 Address important topics directly to find common ground.
💛 Get aligned on big picture items, like starting a family, to feel ready and excited for the next steps.

This complete checklist will help you start mapping out your real-life fairytale relationship so you can...






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